Self-responsibility is rooted in the understanding that I am not upset because of what you did or said. It has to do with how I am experiencing it. We get hooked into other peoples’ expressions of pain. Blame emerges as the result of our inability to manage our hurt and anger. We blame because we want to explain why we are in pain, because we don’t know how to tend to our own feelings.
Resolution lies in beginning from within and letting go of the belief that in saying or doing something to someone else or hearing someone else say or do something, I will be healed
It is not that we do not need support. But even in the closest relationship, mutual understanding is not the whole answer. It is certainly a wonderful thing and will serve in a moment of time. But the basic entanglement will recur until I fully enter responsibility for myself. This is a deeper freedom
So our objective is to take responsibility for ourselves just as, for example, our body takes responsibility for its own healing whether or not supported externally.