All life is lived in relationship. It is an essential dimension of our lives and one over which we have choice.
To make choices about relationship, we need first to be aware of how we are in relationship and what underlies our current choices. We all have habits, developed over many years, which we deploy to manage relationship for many reasons, mostly to do with cultivating the experiences we wish for or avoiding discomfort. These create a pattern both in who we tend to relate to and how we relate, a pattern which ultimately diminishes the breadth of our lives.
We do not change how we are in relationship by an act of will. What we can do is hold in our awareness the question “How am I in relationship?” so as to shine light on our choices and what matters to us that leads to these choices. As our habits weaken in the light of our observance, we are naturally changed.